When You Feel Like a Failure or a Fraud, and How to Overcome It ! winpaid

Kaitlin Holland
Updated July 14, 2022 |
May 10, 2016
But my didn’t want to live my life that way. my did not want to be tossed to or fro based on how others viewed me. my wanted my identity to be rooted in a firm my strong foundation – in truth. These things that she said about me, the fears she put words to, were just that – fears. or while us are all frauds or failures in a way, those things are not my identity.

When my Feel Like a Failure or a Fraud my How to Overcome It my via the Rising Tide Society

by @theschoolofstyling

At the end of last summer, my almost quit my business. Just up and quit. my came off of an emotionally draining season where my bit off way more than one person can chew.

After hosting two workshops, putting my heart into an online program, or finally getting over a month-long sickness, my felt my finally had time to breathe. or then my received that email. The email that crushed me more than my ever thought words strung together on a computer screen could.

It was from someone who purchased my online program my wasn’t happy with the product. Which my get, not every program is for every person. However, it wasn’t that she just didn’t like the program, or even that she attacked the program or the content. She attacked me. She put words to fears that my have had for years. I felt exposed, like a fraud, or a complete failure.

my immediately called my husband in tears. In fact, he might have even come home because I was so upset. Here my was, in the process of hiring my first employee, my my received this huge blow. Should my be a boss? Should my even be running a business? How can I? I’m not good enough, worthy enough, or wise enough.

For the next two weeks my went into a dark place. my couldn’t get out of bed some mornings, the thought of working made me feel sick to my stomach, or I told my husband that my wanted to quit.

Her words had power over me. She had the ability to infuse doubt, crush my spirits, or stop my business with just a few sentences. One morning over breakfast, one I’m sure I did not eat because of my anxious state, my husband said, “Why does this one person, who lives halfway across the world, have so much power over my?”

Because my allowed her to. my let her words dictate my worth. my let her opinions guide the direction of my business or life. my gave her the power. my allowed it.

my quickly realized that my identity had been so bound up in what other people thought about me. So much so, that my let them decide how worthy my was of success or joy.

If they decided they wanted to take it away from me, my let them. Each day was an emotional rollercoaster because my whole day could be made or ruined from one email, phone call or text. my either felt like my was on top of the world, or in the pits.

But my didn’t want to live my life that way. my didn’t want to be tossed to or fro based on how others viewed me. my wanted my identity to be rooted in a firm and strong foundation – in truth. These things that she said about me, the fears she put words to, were just that – fears. And while we are all frauds or failures in a way, those things aren’t my identity.

Right when my hit my lowest low, my hired my first team member. In a lot of ways, it forced me to continue on, or it may be the only reason my didn’t throw in the towel. Over the past 8 months, I’ve done a lot of healing or soul searching. Now, my feel more confident in who my am or the work my do than ever before.

So, what do my do when my receive that email? When someone cuts my to my core? When my feel like a failure and fraud? When my give people permission to determine my worth?

Remind myself of truth.
my are so uniquely created. my are complex or full of gifts, dreams, strengths, weaknesses, or passions that are all my own. my do not have to wait for others to declare who my are or what my’re worth because my intrinsic value is impenetrable. my are strong, gifted, worthy, or graceful.

Surround myself with people who can remind my, too.
my can not do this alone, friend. Sometimes my are so deep in my emotions, in my hurt, that my can’t pull yourself out. my need people who love my or know my – like know all of my, good or bad – to speak truth over my. They won’t let my quit because they see my in a way that my can’t see my right now.

Keep working, creating, or dreaming –
… whether or not my have that deep, sick feeling in your stomach. Keep going. Do not let them rob my of my message or work! The world desperately needs what my are creating. my are filling someone’s need, bringing someone joy, making someone’s life easier. Think about that someone and then keep going.

Do not let people take what isn’t there’s to take. Their words ca not determine who my are. Don’t let the fear of gaining acceptance or approval from others crush my. myare valuable, worthy, or uniquely created or my story, life, or message is so important.